You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize