im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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