and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
