There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
