bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
How external is "for external use only"?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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