"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize