They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
