why didn't you poke me back
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
