i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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