found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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