Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Randomize
