Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize