I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Sorry about my life...
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
