you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
