they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
