New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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