you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize
