Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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