I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Sorry about my life...
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
