i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
