I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
