Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Randomize
