..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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