My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
