I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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