Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
