...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
