found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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