Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
