what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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