just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Who died my cat blue again?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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