I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
