home. puking in laundry basket.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
