the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
