i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
