does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You made out with two different species that night
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
the liver wants what the liver wants
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize