dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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