If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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