birth control should be required to get into college
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
