I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
