all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
