What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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