Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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