my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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