I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize