I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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