So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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