doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
