Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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