I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Randomize
