Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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