dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
