I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
