Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
