i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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