Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
