it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
