Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
