im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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