About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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