she was so not down for the gang bang
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
