so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
