Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
