so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize