were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
