so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize