I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
