is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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