I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
