Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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