soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
