I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
