I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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