i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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