My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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