So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
