Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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