It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
