That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
